A Stab to My Heart

She is the Princess of my house the girl that rocks my world, she is beautiful, adorable, and kind and loving too. She's not the best at Geometry, Biology or Art but I'll never trade her in for a girl with all those smarts.

She may sometimes say she's not good at anything which is anything but true, and she may cry when life seems real unfair, I am amazed at what she knows.

She had acute leukemia, twice while she was young, which took away some things as the doctor's warned it would, she has been left with an acute awareness of what real life is all about. Her outlook is one of wisdom with humility, and a spiritual intelligence that only her suffering can provide.

Her wisdom seems that of an Angel and her hope that of a Saint. When it comes right down to the things that matter, I have no reason to complain for I know how much she prays.

But.....that acuteness, that wisdom and humility can be a bitter pill to swallow. And I was reminded again on Mother's day I cannot take a thing for granted.

I had a bad morning Mother's Day morning, did some crying of my own. I was feeling sorry for myself, mad about my house....Oh how ashamed am I now. I'd been so busy that my house became a mess and I woke up in the morning feeling tired and depressed.

I cannot blame anyone for my state of affair, I was enjoying motherhood and shouldn't have worried, cried or cared that my house wasn't perfect because I had plenty of time to spare. It is true I need to remember that when I get to do things like baseball games, volunteer activities, cooking and organizing events that I have indeed been blessed with being a mother and many women can't.

One young woman worries that she can't be a mother some day and her name is Michaela. We were headed out of church and when we got to our van the boys started competing for the middle seat coveted by all and Michaela was the winner of the spot. But the boys tugged and pulled hoping to move her. I intervened and said, "Boys let her sit in that spot it's mother's day and she'll be a mother some day." Her matter of fact response, "Yea, I'll be a mother some day...if I live long enough."

Boy was that a stab to my heart and didn't even compare to how I felt with my messy house. My biggest consolation is I can truly unite my suffering with Mary up in heaven, for her heart was pierced with the events of her life too. And, unlike me, she was full of grace as she suffered in silence. May we never take our motherhood and our children for granted for they have so much to teach us....they are all truly gifts from God.

Here are my four Blessings!!

Cole, Eric, Michaela and Daniel on Easter